Tailored wedding ceremony

By far the most commonly-chosen ceremony type, this delectable offering is all about celebrating your past - every little thing that makes you each who you are plus the beauty of who you are as a couple - and also looks to the future. It opens your hearts wide in ceremony to this amazing life you’re building together and tells you and your guests how goldang incredible it is that you found each other and are getting married.

At approximately 20 minutes, it is the definition of all killer; no thriller. Time waits for nobody and I won’t waste it waffling.

I’ll find out everything you want from your ceremony by way of my patented and obviously-named Ceremony Details Quiz. You’ll tell me whether your vows will be written straight from your heart, or if the thought of personalised vows gives you both the ick and argh. You’ll tell me who, if anybody, is in your wedding party. You’ll tell me whether mum, dad, aunt Irene or your neighbour Wallace - who has seen you grow in years and wisdom and is still waving over the fence when you visit your parents - will get some acknowledgement in the ceremony. You’ll tell me every little nitty-gritty detail and I will form your ceremony structure.

You’ll also fill in a Love Quiz. Aptly-named, this one is all about your love. How it works, how it started, where it’s going and what makes it so magic. This is the good stuff - the inspiration for all the good-feeling wordage that I roll together. Yes, that’s right; wordage.

This ceremony works whether 200 people are celebrating or just 5; every ounce of my effort goes into the crafting of your ceremony and it matters not to me whether I talk to a big crowd or none.

Here’s the thing, though. You’ll need to ready yourself for questions like “Why have I never heard of this Yolande character? You surely must have known her for ages - she just got you!” Then you will seem mysterious but also evasive and your friends and family may never fully trust you again*.

*the celebrant takes no responsibility for loss of trust from wedding guests after realising you just found her on Google.