Get comfy

How you position yourself during your ceremony makes a big difference to your comfort levels.

PHOTO: Holly @ The Evoke Company

Wedding ceremonies are invariably a time of great, big nervous feelings. Even if it’s just you, your love and the minimum-required witnesses, you’ll still be feeling a bit flippy in the tum. This is ok. This is normal.

But nervous feelings can take you out of the moment, have you fretting over details that don’t matter or can’t be changed, and can generally just get in the way of a good time.

Well, discomfort is the best friend of anxiety. If we can take discomfort away, we can help get anxiety out of the picture, too. Or at least, just off to the side. Let’s have a look at some key strategies for increasing your comfort, and therefore happiness, during your wedding ceremony:

1: Snuggle in close

Touch is essential to thrive. A long time ago, a researcher named Maslow did some pretty cruel experiments on monkeys to figure out exactly how important care and nurture are to us. Turns out, they are more sought-after than food! So, yes, touch is a good place to start for comfort.

It is so normal to feel wedding-day jitters. Think about it; you’ve spent months preparing for this moment and everything is culminating right now. When your ceremony starts, that train is in motion and everything you have planned for is now out of control. This is actually such a good thing because you can finally just let go but it can feel pretty freaky. And, if you have guests at your wedding, the weight of their excitement and anticipation can be pretty heavy, too.

So, when you greet your love and stand together in front of everyone, gearing up for your big moment, touch each other. I don’t believe mere hand-holding is enough for big nerves. I always suggest to my couples that they stand together, hip-to-hip (once you’re in close, though, holding hands is excellent!). This level of touch and literal support goes a long way in bringing that anxiety down and replacing it with loving feelings. See the photo above for proof!

PHOTO: Eve Imagery in Cairns

2. Stand together, facing everyone (or sit – whatever works for you)

It’s unlikely that I will be standing between you for the storytelling part of your ceremony. Usually, I will stand off to one side. This facilitates better storytelling and engagement with everyone present.

However, if you’re standing together, facing each other, one of you has to crane their neck to look at me. And trust me, the stories, jokes and beautiful moments mean we do actually look at each other a lot. We riff. There is banter. And nobody wants to crane their neck during their wedding. The photos look shocking and you’ll end the day unable to turn your head.

So, I encourage you to stand together, looking out. Not only can we make funny faces at each other but you can look out at all your guests and pull faces at them too!

So, snuggle in tight, just like Amy and Nick in the photo above, and enjoy the story!

3. When you do the marrying bits (the ones which might scare you) I will join you and bring supportive energy.

Often the most nerve-wracking parts of the wedding ceremony are the walking-in and the vows. When the vows, I Dos and rings part of your ceremony comes along, I will usually come join you in a triangle of love and support; you two, standing facing each other, holding hands and loving each other, and me to the back of you, facilitating all the things.

One of the most common sources of anxiety I have encountered in my couples is the not-knowing. Not knowing what to do at what time, worry about forgetting the exact sequence of events etc. Well, not only do we walk/talk through it the week of your wedding but also, I am there with you for all of those active parts of your ceremony. Right there, in whispering distance, keeping everything on track and reminding you of exactly what comes next so you don’t need to hold those details in your fizzed-up overloaded mind (full of good stuff). So, this is my final piece of advice for increasing the comfort during your ceremony: lean on me, bring me up there with you for all the action, put your trust in me to sort it out and pour your energy into the joy and beauty of these moments, rather than the organisation of them.

PHOTO: Holly @ The Evoke Company

PHOTO: James @ Luminosity

PHOTO: Medhi @ Tulieve

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